Co-parenting is not considered easy, but there are many reasons for that. There are many factors involved, all of which must be considered. Moms often feel like they are juggling. Finding a new partner or life partner makes it even more difficult. A mom deserves to find her love and happiness after a relationship ends and when she finds and marries that person, she can have moments of peace.
However, this adds a new dynamic to the relationship. Because the mother has a new spouse who needs to navigate her relationship with her ex-husband because she has a child with her. This is a special situation. Because when there are no children involved, there is little need for the two partners to interact with each other. This is not how it works when children are involved and holidays, events and birthdays come together.
Some mothers are lucky to have a husband and ex with whom they can get along or at least be in the same room. But some have a lot of conflict, and her mother can be “stuck” in the event when her new husband doesn’t like her ex.To ease the tension, what moms can do I’m looking for.
what do you do before the party
If your mother knows there is tension between her husband and ex-girlfriend, she should try to be as proactive as possible. According to Medium If you know tensions are going to build up, or if you have had tensions before, it’s a good idea to get together beforehand and establish firm boundaries with each other. These boundaries will be different and unique to each situation, but you should find what works for everyone.
You may not need to talk to each other during the event, but if you do, you should be aware of who the party is for and should be respectful. If either can’t follow these boundaries, it might be best to hold separate events to keep them from coming together.
If the situation becomes too hostile, it’s always nice to be able to keep the whole family together, but the only one who “lose” is the birthday child.
Empathy can go a long way
If you’re feeling nervous at a birthday party, it’s important to look at the situation from both perspectives. This can be another great tactic for trying to fix the problem. It’s unreasonable to expect both your husband and your ex to be best friends, but at least it’s possible to get them to a place where they’re honest and respectful.
According to Jamie Scrimegeour, it’s important to look at these events from both parties’ perspectives. This may mean talking to each one individually to figure out what’s going on. Co-parenting and having a new husband is hard work, and you may find that there are perspectives you never thought of before.
Maybe your husband hates your ex because of a simple misunderstanding about something that happened or was said. , snowballs because no one intervened when it started.
It’s not your job to make sure your husband and ex-husband grow up and mature, but the main goal is to have a cohesive unit and this makes you a moderator of sorts It may mean that
it’s okay to think about you
It is important to always remember that you are not involved in this. You are a mother and a wife, but this is not a reflection of you.
According to Scary Mommy, if you’ve tried everything and nothing works, you need to work on yourself. You should take care of your mental health. It’s easy to “pick her side” and obviously side with her current husband, but this is more likely to make things worse. You should always focus on the children and their birthdays and all you need is a brief reminder to both parties as to why they are there and how it is affecting you. It may also be wise to discuss this with your husband.
Your husband doesn’t have to like your ex, but they should be able to respect the fact that he’s the father of your child and will be there for life’s big moments.
Sources: Medium, Jamie Scrimgeour, Scary Mommy