Someone once said that after the war is over, the writer comes down from the hill and shoots the wounded.
It’s a messy and brutal job, but someone has to do it. Besides, to combine metaphors, everyone says they hate car crashes. But when you get on the highway, everyone slows down and sees.
So the two of us gather here to shoot the wounded. In 2022, that list will be longer. here goes
Vladimir Putin: I met him once at a state dinner in Ottawa. We gamely shook hands, watched by a mesomorphic bodyguard phalanx, and the Russian leader smirked at me. Because — and like some short dudes, they make up for their petite stature by driving flashy cars, talking about penis size, and invading sovereign states.
The final piece of short man syndrome has not only made him the biggest loser of 2022, but the most hated man in the world. When he dies, it will be the biggest party you’ve ever seen.
Donald Trump: It should come as no surprise that the same list of losers as Vladimir Putin includes only once (and only once) the President of the United States. The two men have a near-homosexual bromance and their destinies seem to be intermingled forever. But their work is a sidekick movie that has come to an end, and everyone wants their money back.
In Trump’s case, he’s barely bearing the weight of an avalanche of lawsuits, investigations, and multiple election losses. – and the world of future Republican Party standard-bearer Ron DeSantis is getting bigger and brighter every day.
Justin Trudeau: Indeed, we put him on our list of winners. Indeed, he capped off 2022 with a landslide by-election victory over Convoy Cook in the polls and on the witness stand.
But as with blackface, Gropegate, and a string of scandals, he still can’t help but remind us how deeply he hasn’t kept in touch. It’s been hit by a winter storm and no one expects him to start shoveling people out like Doug Ford. But an Air Force jet announcing he’s taking off for the Caribbean just as the storm hits? remind us that
Jagmeet Singh: He theoretically heads a national political party. But in reality, the leader of the NDP is the same protagonist in The Rolling Stones’ Under Assistant West Coast Promotionsman. I got a cravat and a seersucker suit, yes I have. Well, I thought I had a dime, where’s the dime? I know, I know I got a dime somewhere here. Oh I’m so sharp ” Dressed well, yes. But most of the time it’s irrelevant.
Elon Musk: Just because you’re super rich doesn’t mean you’re super smart. Or, at least, not smart at all. In Musk’s case, he has led Tesla to great success, just as he did with Starlink. But he hijacked Twitter? After FTX, it has become the biggest business disaster of 2022. Advertisers and Big His names fled en masse, neo-Nazis and white supremacists swept Red His carpets, and reporters were banished simply for doing their job. Most of all, Musk’s reputation was smashed. Pinata at one of his ten children’s birthday parties. His Twitter misfortune left him looking like a bulging, intolerant, incompetent boob. He may have one of the world’s biggest bank accounts, but he’s also one of the world’s biggest losers.
We could have gone on longer, but there is a lot of snow that needs to be shoveled.
Thanks for anything, Justin!