There are unwritten rules to follow when buying gifts for other people’s children. No slime, no kinetic sand, no noise. A toy that runs on batteries? Also very bad. “What do your friends want?” I ask her daughter Nora. Her daughter Nora shrugs her shoulders and suggests paintballs for her gun or kazoo bag. increase.
Next month, Nora will be seven years old. That means you’ve started getting emails from other parents. Board game? At least these moms and dads are on the ball. I’m the one texting from Target an hour before the party starts.
My mother was horrified when I jokingly suggested creating a registry for Nora.
“Tucky, tucky, tucky,” she sneered.
Writer and etiquette expert Catherine Newman had a similar response when I asked her what she thought.
“My knee-jerk impression is that it feels kind of gross. Giving a gift feels obligatory and transactional when you want it to feel spontaneous and thoughtful,” Newman says today. “On the other hand, the present is teeth Required unless otherwise specified in the invitation. So I appreciate the transparent existence of the gift registry. Yeah, you should buy my kid a gift. We both know that. There are some things they actually want. I also like the idea of avoiding duplication and waste. ”
Newman says the registry is also good for children of unconventional genders because it spares them the “bore” of prescriptive assumptions.
Arizona mother of two, Jenni Chasty, is a full participant in her child’s birthday registration.
“Honestly, it makes things a lot easier for everyone,” Chasty told TODAY, adding that most of the gifts she requests are in the $10 to $20 price range.
“I’ve even had other parents pull me aside to thank them for simplifying the process,” Chasty says. “A parent is busy juggling 100 responsibilities. He doesn’t need a single extra stressful thing.”
If you use gift registration, Newman recommends that all items on your list are under $20 and that books are always included.
“When there’s a big range in price, some people will feel exposed to their choices,” she explained. “Share big-ticket items directly with grandparents.”
Also, don’t feel obligated to buy out the registry.
“If there’s something really inspired that you want to get for a particular kid, you can always go ahead and get it instead,” Newman said. If you want to be passive passive, get a cymbal-ringing elephant robot, the registry can’t stop you!”